Behind the Scenes.

     There is a story behind my topic of choice.  I feel very passionately about this topic of abandonment, I don't think that anyone should ever have to deal with something so emotionally wounding.  However, more than 50% of children are forced to cope with the physiological toll of it.  The reason I have such a deep and earnest interest in this topic is because of my mother.  My mother has never been there for me.  When I was young, she was the one who I lived with instead of my father; however, she, in a loss for better words, sucked as a parent.  I can't remember one time when she was ever there to support me in anything I did.  There were periods of times where she would not contact me for years, then when she would, she just expected me to drop my life and pretend she was the perfect mother.  Of course, she was a master at making excuses, but eventually I learned what the truth was: she didn't have time for her daughter in her life.  As a child, I was naive.  I always thought that maybe if I contacted her more, or if I made more of an effort, she would remember me and make time for me.  Now that I am older, I'm not so easily fooled.  As I was researching for this topic of Abandonment, I was able to see some of the effects that the resources described in myself.  The pain of knowing I cannot rely on my own mother to support me in the things I do still takes it's toll on me sometimes.  There are some days when I go into a depression of sorts, and I break down and can't do anything.  I hate the effects of her leaving me.  We haven't spoken for years now, when my birthday she didn't call.  I don't understand why she made the decision to leave me.  I don't understand the effects that it has on me, or any other child for that matter.  That is why I have chosen this topic, I want to know how, exactly abandonment effects children, and if it effects guys and girls differently.  During my research, I really hope to get a better understanding of the emotional and physiological damage it leaves on children.  This topic is so close to my heart, and I hope you enjoy reading it.